You know when you have one of those hypos where you’re sweating, you’re dizzy, and you can’t speak properly?
You know when that happens in a foreign country?
Hypos have been strangely absent for the past few months. I’ve had some little ones, but I’ve always caught them with a well timed gummy bear (my French treatment are Carrefour gummy bears – they’re cheap and gross, just how I like my hypo food!). This one came out of the blue, and cost me precious euros!
I was walking towards the local park, to soak in some sun and finish my book (there’s a casual chateau in this park, surrounded by manicured gardens…I’m not fancy enough for this country!). As I crossed the street, I felt the telltale numb tongue, and my body began to sweat in a way that didn’t reflect the 20 degree day. I popped into the local Monoprix to my right, just to ‘get some hypo stuff’.
Hypo brain is like drunk brain. You’re still aware of what you’re doing, but your actions have a mind of their own. Just like when I watch myself buy a kebab at 3am and drunkenly gobble it down in my Uber, I watched myself buy not only hypo treatment, but also:
- orange juice
- guacamole (what the fuck???)
- cheese (delicious, but what the fuck x2???)
- bolognese-flavour chips (France is strange)
- a bottle of rosé (classy hypo!)
WHAT THE HELL HYPO BRAIN!!
As I went up to the till to pay, I said in French “Sorry, I had to open the packet, my blood sugar was low” as I handed over the lollies. However, thanks to my rapidly decreasing BGL, it came out sounding like “Sorry…open…blood sugar…down”, and I dropped my guacamole on the floor.
As the cashier handed my back my stuff and my change, I stumbled out and willed my stupid legs to take me to the park just over the road. Like, I’m desperate for my blood sugar to go up, but not desperate enough to squat in a small cobblestone alley that smells like urine and wait 15 minutes. I have hypo standards, you know?
My sugars came up within the next 10 minutes, and to be honest, there’s no nicer way to feel them come up than lying in the sun and people watching. However, then I was left with hypo regret…I pulled the receipt out of my bag, and 20 EUROS stared back at me. 20 Euros on snacks I didn’t even want!! I’m au-pairing, and I’m broke as hell. All my money I save to put towards travel, and my spending money comes from cash work. I just blew an hour of work on budget snacks – it wasn’t even GOOD rosé!
Pro tip – don’t let hypo you make any decisions, or you’ll end up with a bag full of unwanted snacks that you sneak into your host family’s house and place surreptitiously around the kitchen. Please eat my snacks kids, hypo Georgie doesn’t check the use-by date.