burnout, black clouds, and the beach

Blogging has been sporadic at best this year – just a note, your graduate year of teaching kills you slowly and turns you into a nana who goes to bed at 8.

2015 has definitely been the most difficult year of my life. I thought my diagnosis year was difficult, but this was a whole other kettle of fish. I started a professional graduate job with only two months training, worked full-time while completing a Masters degree, was diagnosed with another chronic condition, co-founded DEDA , volunteered, and tried to have a social life. My physical and mental health has deteriorated, and diabetes burnout has been pretty much consistent. However during this week, Tuesday was basically the first day off from work or study I’ve had since my Masters intensive in November 2014, and dear lord it was absolutely glorious!

I went to the beach, did nothing but read and swim, and the only reminder of diabetes was the pump on my hip. My bruises were hidden, I was sitting at a comfortable 9.3, and I didn’t even have to worry about the water (thanks Animas waterproofing!).

No pump alarms, no ketones, no hypos,  just a book and a pair of bathers. I hate diabetes, I hate my body, but I definitely don’t hate how lucky I am to be able to lie in the sun and be comfortable in the knowledge that I have access to medication and healthcare. So many people around the world struggle to even access insulin, and a day off has helped me reset my mind. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own problems that we fail to take a step back and realise that we are actually incredibly blessed.

I am educated, have a roof over my head, work in a job that I love, and live in a country that subsidises my life saving medication.  May 2016 bring a newfound appreciation of my blessings, and a lifting of the black cloud that has hung over 2015.

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One response to “burnout, black clouds, and the beach

  1. You’re a star, my friend! It doesn’t get harder than your first year, and combining the first year of teaching with study is a special kind of crazy. Roll on summer. 🙂

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