Monthly Archives: July 2013

Burning out…

So, uh, sorry for this two month break. I’ve been burnt out.

All kinds of burnt out, but mostly diabetes burnt out.

I go through phases with the ‘betes – I’m either super motivated and my levels are pretty good, or I go into denial and hide in my imaginary hole.

To be honest, I’ve been avoiding my blog, because being active on my blog kind of means that my diabetes is there, and avoiding my blog seems like I’m avoiding my diabetes. It’s stupid and silly, but it’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m just over it really, there have been so many sad stories in our community lately, and combined with some of the IDIOTIC comments I have received from people in my life, I have not been up to facing up to diabetes.

BUT here I am! I’ve put my big girl pants on and am going to try and pull myself out of this diabetes funk.

So, what has been happening in my diabetes corner lately?

– The ConnecT1n weekend was held at Melbourne Uni, and I met more amazing young people with type 1. Ash Doss did a great write up of it here , but basically I made more diabetic friends (you can never have enough), learned heaps, got a free t shirt (which I promptly bled all over when doing a tipsy site change, good job me) and had an awesome time. I also felt like a bit of a celeb because Ash and Matt talked, and I totally knew them and the things they were talking about. We successfully recruited one person to OzDoc. Baby steps, baby steps! It was really nice to see people meeting other people with type 1 for the first time, I remember that feeling – it rocked!

– We’re in the middle of (we being the JDRF YLC) creating a kick ass event for JDRF with  at the moment, and guys it is going to be awesome. Get excited.

– I’ve had a lot of stupid comments lately and it’s made me sad. A sports coach, while the younger kids were tucking into some homemade brownies, told me I shouldn’t have any. This coach weighs easily over 120 kgs. EXCUSE ME. I laughed it off and subtly told her to mind her own business, but I was furious. Take your own advice Ms. Coach, how dare you! If I want a brownie I will have my damn brownie, thank you and good night.

– I spotted someone at a 21st on Saturday night with the same pump as me and got really excited. One of my best friends got too excited and drunkenly tried to set me up with this guy, even though he had a girlfriend and I wasn’t crushing on him at all not even a bit. Hilarity ensued. I wanted to talk pumps and diagnosis stories, she wanted me to…take my pump and his pump off, if you know what I mean. (diabetic humour is the best kind of humour)

– On a sadder note, there have been a lot of sad stories in our community which have come to my attention. I recently heard the story of a young man (who will remain anonymous) who died after a night out – came home, gave himself insulin for dinner. The alcohol shot his levels down, he ended up hypo-ing, going into a coma and dying. I’m not going to lie, I heard this story and as soon as I left, sat in my car and cried. I cried for him, for his family, and for the rest of us. So many of us have had near misses, it’s only through sheer luck that I’m still here. If I hadn’t disconnected my pump while it was malfunctioning before passing out and having a seizure (somehow managed to pump a days worth of insulin into my body in 15 seconds, that was fun…) I could have slipped into a coma and Mum would have found me dead the next morning. Diabetes is terrifying, I never forget that because I’m the world’s biggest drama queen but others tend to…

Basically, I’m burnt out as heck, but trying to get back onto the bandwagon. I will be at OZDOC next week, I promise. I just needed some time.

x