Monthly Archives: May 2013

Diabetes Blog Week – Day 5 – Accomplishments

Diabetes Blog Week – Day 5 – Accomplishments.

This is my Friday post, published on the DA VIC blog!

Aside

We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. … Continue reading

Memories

blog-week-4DBLOG WEEK POST #3!

Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere…. your or your loved one’s diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)

You would think that my most memorable diabetes day would be diagnosis, but I honestly think that is another post for another time. It’s long, super personal, and probably deserves a special post of it’s own.

My most memorable diabetes moment? The night I came home from hospital.

This is not a happy memory, sorry in advance.

I remember this vividly. In true nerdy Georgie style I had been stressing about my year 12 assessments while in hospital  (looking back this was probably a way to push aside the fact I had just been diagnosed with a lifelong chronic illness) and thus had not really thought very much about day to day life with this new diabetes thing. Diabetes just seemed confined to my hospital room, it was medical and annoying but hey, that’s hospital in general right?

I came home mid-afternoon, had a nap, then walked out to dinner and sat down at the table.

That’s when it hit me.

I had to inject myself for this.

I had to prick my finger.

I had to count my food.

I had to go against every single feeling that my body was experiencing. I was still terrified of needles, I had JUST got myself out of seeing food as numbers, yet to stay alive I had to throw all of this away.

I had to do this at least 4 times a day, every day, for the rest of my life.

Needless to say (excuse the language) I lost my shit.

I looked down at the roast dinner Mum had cooked and just started crying silently. All my aunt and Mum had to do was look at me and say “Oh George…” and I became a wailing, snotty, waterfall of tears.

I couldn’t talk or verbalise my feelings. I just…I still remember the loss of control I felt over my body and emotions. I physically could not stop crying or shaking, it was like this uncontrollable wave of emotion that just kept dumping me under, again and again. I pushed my chair back from the table, went out onto the porch, slammed the door and ran.

I ran through my suburban streets for about half an hour. In leggings, a t-shirt and bare feet. I ran and cried. It was such a strange feeling, I couldn’t control my sobs or my feet, they kept running and I kept crying. I was just so ANGRY at the world. It wasn’t FAIR. I don’t know what my neighbours must have thought…a 17 year old girl running down the street with bare feet and tears and snot flying out behind her. To the residents of Cheltenham in March 2010, I apologise

I stopped running when I returned to the end of my street. I had scratches all over my feet and legs, and my arms where I had dug my nails in, to try and feel something more painful than what I currently I was. Didn’t work, needless to say.

I came home, got into bed, and slept for about 10 hours. When I woke up the next morning, I felt a little better. I took a few deep breaths, sucked it up, tested and injected, and went to school.

The above memory is why I get angry at people telling me to “Be positive! Don’t dwell on the bad things!”  Sometimes, you have to let all your bad feelings out to make the good ones seem brighter.

We, The Undersigned

blog-week-4DBLOG WEEK POST #2!

Recently various petitions have been circulating the Diabetes Online Community, so today let’s pretend to write our own. Tell us who you would write the petition to – a person, an organization, even an object (animate or inanimate) – get creative!! What are you trying to change and what have you experienced that makes you want this change? (Thanks to Briley of inDpendence for this topic suggestion.)

This is a hard one!

I really don’t know. I’m not a huge fan of petitions in general.

If anything, I want to change the fact that people make jokes about diabetes. I hate it. I get teary and angry when people ignore, after I’ve explained why I’m hurt, why it’s disrespectful and plain rude. I got into a cyber fight today with a guy on my uni facebook page because he commented on a picture of chocolate (COLES IS SELLING FAMILY BLOCKS FOR $1, RUN DON’T WALK) with a joke about diabetes. I can’t let it go, I dislike being called a party pooper if I call someone out on it.

Not being a party pooper, just making you into a DECENT HUMAN BEING.

Could you petition that? I don’t know. Petition for everyone who makes a diabetes joke after being explained to as to why it’s hurtful to be shot down by laser beams?

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good diabetes joke, but one that is INFORMED and RESPECTFUL…and involves a pun or two.

“You’re a diabadass” “Diabetics are the only people who don’t want to be high” = good

“LOL donuts 4 lunch! Diabetes here I come!” = bad

A petition to stop bad, uninformed, diabetes jokes. That would be swell.

Sharing is Caring

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So it’s Diabetes Blog Week, (thanks to Bitter~Sweet Diabetes) and although it’s Week 10 of uni and I have assessments and essays spilling out of my ears, I’ve decided to join in! What better procrastination than to write about stuff that isn’t uni related? It’s my first time, so please be nice 🙂

So, the topic! “Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?”

This is a pretty defunct question for me. I share everything with my health team. Everything. Honestly, my educator knows more about my fears, my habits and my relationships than my family or closest friends do. I want her to know everything, and I hide nothing. She is the only person in the world who knows exactly where my mental health is at.

This might seem weird to a few of you – why would I share such personal details with someone who’s simply there to make sure my hb1ac doesn’t get too high?

But the thing is, diabetes is such an all encompassing, 24/7 disease that it does affect every aspect of my life. I’m not saying my life is run by diabetes – quite the opposite – but it does give everything a certain flavour. Part of managing these disease is not only our day to day management, but also our mental health. Without being on top of it, without letting them know that you’re burning out or can’t face any more injections, how will your health care team be able to help you?

Your team is not there simply to say “Good job, increase your basal” (although they do that fabulously), they’re also there to support you in ways your loved ones cannot. Honestly, if I went in there with made up blood sugars (we’ve all been there, don’t deny it) and said “Everything is great!” when I hadn’t tested in a few days, I’d be wasting everybody’s time.

My team sees everything. They see me cry over sore fingers and injection bruises, get frustrated over my highs, cry some more over being burnt out, and give me a “get your shit together we love you don’t die” talk when I get lazy with my carb counting and end up at 15 all day. They don’t need to “wish” to see everything, or figure out if I’m lying about my blood sugars, because by laying it all out on the table, we’re working together as a team. That’s what we should be. Not a team telling the patient what to to, but the patient with diabetes as part of the team 🙂